Sorry I have been a bad blogger as of late. I really haven't felt all that motivated to blog. This has been another tough week for me, just missing home and feeling stressed about life and money. I'm trying to be positive and look on the bright side, but sometimes it's really hard to do.
Last week was a slow week at work. Like really slow. I think I ended up working ten hours. Therefore my paycheck this week was pretty crappy and depressing. So I've been thinking about finding a new job. (I've also had enough of Joel complaining about sharing the car, so I'd like to find something I could get a bus or walk to). I've been spending hours scouring seek.com (Aussie job site) for ANY job that I could possibly do. There's not much out there that I'm qualified to do (maybe I should have thought about becoming a pipe fitter instead of a hairstylist!) and I'm getting frustrated that I'm not getting any replies. I had a bit of a cry yesterday and Joel told me to relax and stop being so hard on myself and that something will come up when it's meant to, just be patient. We went for smoothies and a walk and I felt better.
I think the reason I'm having such a hard time is because everything is new here. I don't feel confidant at work because I don't know the color line or products as well as I did back home. I find myself second guessing things. We also have a nasty rep who comes in to train us (with the most annoying accent- no comes out "ne-ohw") who makes me feel like I don't know anything. (To get back at her for making me feel this way I make sure to call her Tam-eh-ra instead of Tam-ah- ra.) When I have a bad day I can't eat a bowl of KD or Alpha Bits (don't laugh) and curl up to watch House Hunters International or Teen Mom because they don't have it in Oz! My favorite stores aren't here to pick me up with some happy window shopping (and the few that are suck). I don't have any comforts to turn to, except Joel. Money is also tight, so we feel we can't do and see as much as we'd like to.
I'm trying to take my Mom's advice and before bed write down at least two good things that happened that day, then focus on them instead of the things
that are worrying me as I fall asleep. Cheesy as it is, it really seems to help.
However the last few nights I've been waking up at four am from awful
nightmares.
I need to start thinking about why we came here (the beach, thinking out of our box) and start focusing on that. My friend Lyrissa gave me some good advice. She said to find something
about Australia to love and be happy about, otherwise I'm going to
really regret our time here when we go back home. I know I've been glamorizing life in Edmonton and forgetting that we did need a big change to stir things up a bit. I need to be more grateful for the opportunity I've been given. I could be in way worse places then Australia!
So today I'm taking a day off from my worries and I'm going to do a good work out on the rooftop terrace (overlooking the ocean) then take my book down to the beach and read. I'm actually reading a really good book right now called Vintage Alice. It's about an English girl who's made the big leap to start a new life in Australia. I didn't realize this when I picked up the book (just wanted to try out the author) and I'm finding it very comforting and I can totally relate to the main character.
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